Sailor Moon on Drugs
by Yuriwriter
Summary: have you ever wondered what it would be like? A total flame of the americanized version of Sailor Moon, bc i could never screw it up as bad as they did.


Sailor Moon on Drugs.  
  
By Shiva  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own these people so screw you.  
  
  
  
We see a close up of a large red crab scuttle by on a sandy beach, followed by Ami Mizuno... doing the crab walk in a lobster suit.  
  
"Ami what are you doing?" asked Serena.  
  
"I'm a crab! Scuttle... scuttle... scuttle!" she replies as if it was oh so obvious. Serena gets a HUGE sweat drop.  
  
"Ami are you on the POT!?"  
  
"NO!.... I'm on the... BEACH!" she says after looking around for about a minute.  
  
"O-k.... LITA! Go get the straight jacket please," said Serena turning to her friend only to discover "OH MY FUCKING GOD YOU"RE TOTALLY NAKED!!!"  
  
"I like Birdies.... Here birdie birdie birdie, Here birdie..." Lita walks off down the beach cooing and calling after the various seagulls along the beach, totally nude!  
  
"Mina?..." long pause by Serena as she waits for a reply, "Mina? Now where the hell has she gotten to?" however just then the call of 'HUGBEES!!!' could be heard echoing from down the beach.  
  
"Oh no not her too.... Rei... please tell me your still..." her voice trails off as the heat rises and blackened seagulls begin to fall from the sky around her, while shouts of 'FIREFIRE FIRE...AHAHAHAHAHAHA....'  
  
"...Sane... AHHHHHHH REI'S GOT HAIRSPRAY!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! AHHHHHHHHHHH..." Serena runs away from her pyro- maniacal friend who at the moment was sailor mars with a -Brand New- forty-foot tall hairspray can.  
  
  
  
Five minutes later and two miles down the beach...  
  
Serena had finally thought it safe to stop running and had decided to stop and rest for a minute when noises from a nearby - rattling- bush caught her attention.  
  
'HUFF PUFF HUFF PUFF MROWMROWMROWMROW  
  
MROWMROWWWWWW.' hey that sounds a lot like Luna, and Artemis... hmmmm I wonder...  
  
Just then Darien showed up in his full - pimp- attire. "Wazup doll face?" he drawled like a gangsta'.  
  
"Darien! Oh I'm so happy FINALLY someone who's NOT fucked up besides me."  
  
"Not yet anyways sugah" he replied just as Rini came by with a ninety year old geezer clinging on her like a wet t-shirt.  
  
"Hey mom wazup?" she asked casually as the man started to feel her up, which wasn't hard considering she was wearing nothing but two -six inch- straps of leather as clothes.  
  
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WEARING YOUNG LADY?" Serena yelled as best she could with her jaw on the ground. "DO YOU WANT PEOPLE TO THINK YOU'RE A FUCKING WHORE?"  
  
"Well Duh! I AM a whore you ditz!" she says pointing.  
  
"Wha..." Serena stammered as her afore mention daughter left the scene and Darien came over to hug her. However, instead of hugging her like she thought he would he in order grabbed: her ass, left tit, right tit, ass, ass, left tit, right tit, and started to 'Grind' with her. Of course he got no less than ten slaps, an elbow to the stomach, a knee to the groin, and a 'FUCK YOU!' accompanied with 'the finger'.  
  
After leaving her -ex future- husband lying in the sand she went for a walk only to get her right foot run over by a car. "ARGGGGHHH! IS THERE NO ONE ON THIS BEACH WHO IS SANE?"  
  
"Hiya moon face, WASSSSUPPPP?" yelled Michele (Michiru) and Amara (Haruka) at the same time.  
  
"Yeah Yeah - WHAT THE!" Serena yelled as she looked into the back seat of the car; in which there was no less than 12 kegs of alcohol, 12 pounds of: crack, marijuana, duck tape, and twine. A large jar of... peanut butter?, and Two tied up sailor scouts (Setsuna and Hotaru) bound and gagged.  
  
Then she looked at the drivers, did a double take, and had her eyes bulge out of her head. "WHY ARE YOU TWO NAKED?"  
  
"We're going to a -clothes optional, lesbian rave-, wanna come?" asked Amara.  
  
"Um... No! hey Setsuna... you still have your cell-phone in your pocket?" Serena received a nod from the bound senshi. "Thanks! Now hold on a minute you two while I call some FRIENDS... ok?" She then proceeded to call the -paddy wagon-, and was put on hold.  
  
Fifty-five hours later...  
  
"Yes we will now patch you through to the Tokyo Asylum... Hello Tokyo asylum, please hold." Beethoven's fifth symphony began to play over the cell phone that now lay on the deserted beach except for one figure. Serena lay bound and gagged, stripped naked, and covered in peanut butter by Haruka and Michiru; who had left for their rave 55 hours and 55 minutes ago.  
  
At Doctor Tomoes house...  
  
We see a figure cuddling a two story pile enchiladas. "Oh enchilada, how I doth love thee!" he cooed as he picked one up and ate it in one large bite. Just then Kayorinite appeared out of nowhere scaring the hell out of poor causing him to choke to -death- on his beloved enchiladas.  
  
"Awww poopie! Doctor Tomoe never told me if he ever find out if that  
  
One-marijuana- daemon pod or not. Ohhh enchiladas, boy have I got the munchies. This should help out immensely. MMMMMMM!" she said and began stuffing enchiladas in her mouth.  
  
  
  
  
  
The End. By the way this is NOT I repeat NOT my first or only fic. I've got more on the way that have been in the works for the past three years. Please read and if you don't laugh your ass off if you're a sailor moon fan then flame me at  
  
Cyber_ChickyBoo@hotmail.com  
  
Sesame Street on drugs inspired this little whiff of insanity I call my life.  
  
"I forgot what we were doing cramit."- Big bird  
  
"Did you just call me cramit?"-Kermit  
  
"Yes I did."- Big bird  
  
"Cramit d frog here. Heh Heh."- Kermit 


End file.
